There’s this little thing called mom guilt that I’ve carried with me since my first son was born, and I am finally putting it aside!  I have been fortunate enough to work part-time since my first baby was born.  My mother had watched my littles until they went to preschool at age 2.  They now go to preschool 3 days a week and are home with me the other two.  Their preschool requires your child to go full time one year prior to entering kindergarten.

I had thought about pulling them out and finding somewhere else that allows part-time until kindergarten.  My thoughts at first were this is ridiculous- how can any 4 year old be tolerable when he’s in school all day.  Then it dawned on me, I’d FINALLY have some time to myself that I hadn’t had in over 4 years!  I talked it over with the hubby, and he too was on board with sending my oldest full time!  Done deal- my oldest child will attend preschool 5 days a week even on the days I stay at home.

I know some mothers may think this decision is selfish.  Truth be told, staying home with littles isn’t always so “POSH.”  This thing called motherhood is hard, messy, tough, and exhausting.  My typical day at home consists of playing referee, looking for their listening ears, and threatening them with hot sauce (don’t judge) if they throw or break one more thing!  My boys never have been ones to behave in public so I often don’t leave the house (my own issue I am trying to overcome).  Somedays are great, and others I just want to SCREAM!  I’ve had the best of both worlds, staying at home and working.  My hardest days by far are not at the office but at home.  Raising WILD boys is no joke and anyone that has boys can agree with me.

I am writing this in hopes to help some other mamas let go of their “mom guilt.”  It’s okay to want to send your kids to school and take care of yourself!  Whether your a boss lady and work corporate hours or a stay at home mommy, you should NEVER feel guilty for what you decide.  I’ve learned that in life there’s always going to be mamas that seem to have it all together but you can’t compare yourself to others.  When we feel like we’re failing at this motherhood thing; we’re NOT!  If we could be brave enough to let our walls down and say, “me too” our motherhood circles would become truer.  It’s taken me a long time to figure this out and I am still learning.  The best thing a mom can do for her family is take care of herself.

Don’t get me wrong, I will forever be grateful of the time I had with both my boys at home.  I also probably won’t send my oldest 5 days a week every week.  They are my entire world and I’d do anything for them!  I could start to cry thinking about how fast time really does fly by.  I feel extremely lucky to have witnessed their first coo, smile, steps, etc.  I won’t forget the rainy day snuggles when we watched paw patrol 100 times.  The countless days we stayed in our pjs ALL DAY LONG and didn’t brush our teeth!  This stage in life is bitter sweet because they’re starting to become more self sufficient.  I know I am gonna miss it someday, even the crazy chaos and tantrums (well maybe not those)!  These memories at home will always stay close to my heart.

But for now I am going to drop my 4 year old off at school 5 days a week without any quilt.  I may even stay in my pjs watching the Today Show and drink 3 cups of HOT coffee 🙂

xo-Carley

 

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