Surprisingly this topic comes up almost weekly and I feel as if I need to defend why I chose to be a working mom.
moms shouldn’t have to defend anything
So after a long day at work this topic was heavy on my heart- why I choose to be a working mom. This particular day included leaving my house at 4:15am to catch an early flight, visiting 3 client sites, an hour drive back to the airport to catch another flight so I could get home just in time to tuck the boys into bed. Wanna know what comes after that – all the same things being a mom includes, laundry, dishes, etc. It wasn’t that I choose to be a working mom, maybe it was I chose to have a career and then chose to get married and then chose to have kids.
So the battle of working mom vs stay at home mom isn’t on my radar, we all have it hard. It is not a battle between us. What feels like a battle is the fight to defend our choice of working or staying home. I went to my trusted sounding board of Instagram stories to rant on the topic. Ladies I was blown away – almost to tears ( which is not my personality ). The feed back and comments blew me away and it was coming from both working and stay at home moms.
This gave me the idea to turn this into a monthly post that we feature a working mom and a stay at home mom. They will each share a little about their family and then answer the same questions.
I want this to be a space where we can celebrate and learn about families that are similar and or different from ours because in the end the ONLY thing that matters is what is right for your family and that phase in your life.
I will quickly admit that it is not always easy. Keeping our house from looking like a frat house. Making sure I don’t fill our weekends with errands. Squeezing in all the love in the few short hours I get with my kids daily. Finding people you trust to take care of them. Schedules on schedules, like Tetris figuring that one out.
On a funny note: this entire post just keeps making me laugh and think “who is your daddy and what does he do” ! Name that movie!
A little about your family: Since I am a clear over-sharer you most likely know more about me than most, but here is my Tinder-ish profile recap. 33 year old mamma married to the most handsome man in Des Peres, Missouri. We just celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary and have two of the wildest boys, Cameron 3 and Brooks 2. We love being outside, staying busy (like very busy), parties, drinks / juice boxes, and sneaking in vacations without our kids ha!
What do you do?
I am a “Business Development Manager” for an IT company. It almost makes me sound important with that title on my card, but basically I’m an outside sales rep.
What hours do you work ?
I do not have a set schedule. Just depends on what is going on. Usually its 8-5 ish. Unless I am traveling or have something I need to work on after the kids go to bed. Sales is not a job that you leave behind at 5, ha I think sometimes I have nightmares about customers! A perk to this is some days I can work at home and that means – laundry, dishes, power clean over lunch.
Why did you choose to go back to work?
I am a talker and a natural busy body and think that after being in my career for 5 years before becoming a mom I just couldn’t walk away. I am proud of this little #bossbabe within me. Also, for me taking a few years off and then jumping back in didn’t seem easy. In sales you usually start at the bottom and move up.
What do you love about your job?
I love to feel like I am solving a problem for customers and winning ha! It is in every salesman/woman’s heart to win and chase down a deal. It feels good being able to find a potential client, build a solution for them, and then get a yes (contract)!
Anything you don’t love about being a working mom?
Of course I hate not being able to see everything my kids are doing daily. Sometimes I have to travel and do not get to get the boys from school or tuck them into bed. It can be hard on your heart. I am so lucky for a great husband and family that helps us. Also, thankful for FaceTime! That is my thing, I hate more than anything is being the last parent at pick up or the mom that forgets all the school activities. I forget picture day most of the time, run into traffic, and didn’t buy Valentines till the night before so my boys gave everyone an orange.
What is a tip for a first time mom returning to work?
Girl, take everything one day at a time. Make sure you have amazing childcare setup so you have one less thing to think about. I promise you that your child will not hate you for working. I promise that that one hour you get together before bedtime as a newborn will turn into hours. I promise you that if this isn’t right for your family you will know and you can make a change.
Where are your kids during the day ?
Surprisingly I get asked if my kids are at home with me – no freaking way. My mom watched our boys until they turned one and then we moved them into daycare/pre-school. They each still get one special day a week with her, which is basically like spring break for a toddler – they are spoiled! I know that we are very lucky to have her helping! The next biggest topic surrounding daycare is the COST, holy moly, I could have a mansion on the beach. To us it is totally worth it. They have structure and are learning more than I could teach them!
What a perk of being a working mom?
There are a few, probably one really bratty one that I take advantage of is treating myself to things that are a want more than a need. I’m not really into the fancy things, but my collection of Dr.Scholls sneakers and matching pajamas might be over kill. On a serious side I do really take pride in hoping that one day my boys will understand why I work so hard for them. They have an amazing life, want for nothing, 529 plan started. I also hope that by seeing me work so hard that they have the drive to do the same and chase their goals. Plus – if someday in one million years they are reading this blog they better be good husbands and give their wives the choice to work or stay home!
How do you balance working, mommin and running a home?
My best advice here is to have a plan, but know it won’t always work ha. I’m not the most organized person in the world, but I am pushing myself to try harder in this area. I am a hard core multi-tasker. Kids are finishing dinner – I speed clean the kitchen. Robovac (Roberto) is running 24/7 to clean up. The kids clothes are set out for the week on Sundays – or Mondays if I enjoy 3 margaritas at Sunday family date night. I never work around my kids…if I have things to do then I will get to them after they are in bed. It will not be perfect so don’t stress over it.
What would you say to a mom trying to decide if she wants to go back or not?
Whatever choice that you make today is not your forever choice. If you decide to go back to work and in 6 months decide that you want to stay home then do it. This is just a phase of your life. My sister in law was able to propose to her company moving to 3 days a week and they said yes! Talk about the best of both worlds!
Is your house clean?
Ha I threw this question in because it is funny, but it is real life. Yes-ish, my house is clean, all the main areas are cleaned up. Is my bed made – NO. Is my laundry all put away – NEVER. Some things I strive to keep clean (for my sanity) and others I just know will not happen.
What is the most annoying / funny thing someone has said to you about being a working mom.
Can say my top 50 things? “oh so you have to work ” ….girl, first of all it is my decision to work. It is comments like this that really fueled this post.
What are your top five things you want to say to working moms ?
This is only a short phase of your life and if you need to make a change for your family then do it.
It’s not always going to be perfect ( no ones life is ), so screw having your kids look like Ralph Lauren models at daycare, opt in for a happy hour, shove the pile of laundry to the side.
Ask for help. If you need someone to pick up the kids or need someone to help with a project at work so you can go to your kids activities. We cannot do it all alone.
Don’t worry about what other anyone else says. This is your life and you have got one shot at it. Make your choices and believe in them.
Just because you are holding that mom title doesn’t mean that is all that you are. I love my family more than anything in the world, but sometimes I need to focus on myself.
Next week we will be featuring a stay at home mom!